First of all, do yourself a favor and go read this post from Sister Skinny. I ran across this blog tonight while blog hopping, and I though it was profound, and funny!
Second of all, Bear has a girlfriend. Even worse, he has a date! He's 9! Can you believe it? OK, the date is a valentine's dance at the base youth center, and it is heavily supervised. But, since when do 3rd graders have girlfriends? Anyway, her name is Asia, and she is adorable. She and Bear have been in classes together since preschool. He told me tonight "Momma, I really want to make a good impression on Asia, I just hope she doesn't dump me before the dance." My heart just. about. burst. open. My baby boy! Heck, I'm impressed he had the guts to ask her to be his girlfriend in the first place, and then ask her to a dance! My 13 year old has never even expressed an interest in girls yet, but he is really shy around girls. This could be a weird time for Momma. I want him to stay my little boy forever.
The only thing I wonder about, and I want to be delicate about this because I don't want to give the wrong impression, is how her parents are going to react when she asks them if she can go. Not only because they are so young, but because they are not the same race. We are caucasion, and Asia's family is African American. I think it is perfectly fine, and I like Asia, from what I know of her. I don't want Bear's heart to get broken. So far he really has led a color-blind life. He has always been in schools and day-care centers that were fairly mixed; we have lived on military bases since he was 2. He really doesn't know about prejudice or anything like that. And as naive as it sounds, I want it to stay that way. I wish I could keep my kids in a little bubble where everyone loves everyone and skin color is irrelevent. But I know that they will grow up and see what the world is really like. Am I doing them a disservice by shielding them from it? I want them to have the same values I have.
I am probably completely overreacting, because most Air Force families I know are alike in that respect, and I'm sure her parents are perfectly sweet people. Why shouldn't they be? Their daughter is. I hope I'm not turning anyone off over this, but I always thought I could be honest on this blog, and that my readers would understand. Call me out if I'm out of line, please.
Lastly, I put in a good 4-5 hours of study time today! And tomorrow I'll do the same. Thanks for the well wishes, and the encouragement. If I don't get to commenting on your blogs a lot this week, you'll know that it because I'm just busy and tired of studying. I am reading everything though. Oh, and if you get a chance, cruise by Bluesleepy and give her love! She just announced she's expecting! I'm soooo happy for her!
And why the heck isn't blogger's spell check working!!! Still!!!
Night Ya'll, have a happy Hump Day tomorrow!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Oh, My (not so) Baby Boy!
Posted by Military Mom at 9:37 PM
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13 comments:
That's wierd, I was going to talk about picking a well mixed school for my son today :D
Not the point - how cute is that?!! He's starting young isn't he? Awww...he's not a little boy anymore ;)
I prayed for Kelly to not see color but it happened eventually.
It didn't help that we live in the south and have to deal with racist assholes every day of our lives.
I sure hope Asia's parents are as open minded as you.
If Asia's parents are in the AF too, it probably won't matter. Most military people are pretty color-blind; they have to be!
I hate the whole color issue. There was a boy I had a huge crush on in the 9th grade. His name was Josh, and shockingly enough, I think he returned my feelings. We hung out for days, and we were always on the phone. Then my dad found out he was black. According to my dad, he was just "concerned" that a mixed-race couple would be ostracized, but that's when I was going to a 90% military high school near the AF base in Omaha!! There were TONS of mixed-race couples. I was crushed, and I haven't quite forgiven my dad.
Did I mention my brother is a different race? He's a Mayan Indian, adopted from Guatemala. So why did my dad come down on me so hard? I don't know.
PS -- If it bothers you that Blogger's spell check isn't working, download Mozilla Firefox to use as your browser (which is far more stable than IE anyhow); it has a built-in spell check. Even right now as I type in this comment box, it tells me if I spell a word wrong.
PPS -- (Good lord, shut UP already, Karyl!!) Thanks for the awesome well-wishes. I loved your comment on my page, that you got so excited. I think it was my favorite comment of all thus far!! You are so sweet, and I'm so thankful to have such awesome friends to share this with!!! I only wish Minot was closer to RI. ;o)
I hope your son has a great experience with her and her family. I know that the idea of anyone crushing young love just makes my heart break. Why can't folks just leave well enough alone?
if asia's parents don't let her go, i think it'll just be cause she's their sweet, too young, little girl. let bear continue in his bliss of a color-blind world. teachable moments will show up inevitably and that's when you share your loving wisdom. until then just relax.
:)
maria
Don't be so hard on yourself -- you're just looking out for your little boy's heart. Bear sounds like a heartbreaker already (I have a feeling my Bear is going to follow suit). As adults, we aren't colorblind, (obviously we SEE what races/ethnicities/etc. people are) but we can be accepting and inclusive. Sounds like you are and are raising your kids to be the same way.
I credit being a base brat as the reason why I was completely oblivious of race issues until I got to college. I learned the hard way about reverse racism, but I'm still happy to have made it 18 years without really hearing the 'N' word. The world sometimes is better from inside a bubble.
He he he. At least No. 2 Son waited until he was 12 before he found himself a girlfriend. All 10 days of that adventure! I would recommend calling Asia's parents and speaking with them. May help to alleviate any trepidation they might feel about their precious hanging with a *gasp* boy. Plus, I know if Little Sister came home with an invite to a dance, I would certainly want to speak the little thug...err...boy's parents, just to get a feel for them, you know?
As scary as it sounds--I have had 2nd graders talk about boy/girlfriends! That is so cute that your little boy/man asked her to the dance! How sweet and brave!
I understand the concern about how Asia's parent's might react. She is their little girl. kids don't see color- it is us adults who make it all messy and complicated. I hope it all goes well!
Good luck with the studying!
How sweet that he asked her to the dance. I agree with the commenter that said if she isn't allowed to go - it might because she's NINE - not because of his skin color, and because she is their baby girl.
I don't know that I would let Tink go to a dance with a boy at nine - regardless of his skin color. I don't want her to grow up!
Wow! A date a 9??
He might be the next Charlie Sheen...
No! Not a date at 9! They grow up way, way too fast. I shudder to think that my daughter will be a teen next month and all the boy crap that goes with it. If they were only all innocent and sweet 9 year old boys!
Oh, wow! Girlfriend already! Little man knows how to work it!
I know what you mean about your sons. I look at my little boys and I call them my knights in shining armor. I just love them!
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