My opinion...and damn I have a lot of them...

I know it's been awhile, but there is something that has been on my mind lately. I feel compelled to write about it whether anyone ever reads it or not, and it's my blog...so there.

Someone asked me the other day about my views (as an insider in the military) on the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, and I think they deserve an answer.

The short of it is, I think it's complete and utter bullshit.

I was given this survey a few months ago, sent by the DoD, wanting to know what my views were on potentially having to serve with openly gay or lesbian people. The line of questioning was pretty insulting, not only to gay people, but to me as well. One of the questions (and I'm paraphrasing here) was "What would your response be to having to shower in open bay facilities if you knew that there was a homosexual person present?" The options were a. Take no action, or b. shower at a later time. Can you believe that? Maybe it's just me, but I took offense and I felt like it was assumed it would bother me. What are we, still in high school? There were open bay showers in Basic training, and that was humiliating enough. Who cares if one of the girls were gay? We were too busy worrying how we were going to function tomorrow on 3 hours of sleep to care. Bigger fish to fry, friends.

Anyways, My reasons for wanting to repeal that archaic law go deeper than open bay showers. I believe it is highly hypocritical, completely degrading, and it makes my beloved Air Force look like a complete jackass. On the one hand, the military is a profession that espouses values like integrity, honor, honesty, and service. But then they tell you that if you are gay, the only way to be all of those things is to lie about your fundamental lifestyle. It is a contradiction that I just can not suss out. It is completely hypocritical and just plain wrong. The Air Force core values: Integrity First, Service Before Self, Excellence in All We Do.

Unless you're gay, then forget about that integrity part. You must have integrity about everything else in your life; except about who you love. That part is unacceptable. About that, you must be a LIAR. Nice.

I currently work in a Maintenance Squadron consisting of about 400 people. I believe I read somewhere that studies have found that about 1 in 10 people are probably gay. So to believe that there are no gay people in my unit is incredibly naive and delusional. They are among us and they serve with honor every day. At night and on weekends, they disappear. For unit functions, especially those where families are invited, they attend alone or not at all. They cannot share their family life or their partner's accomplishment like straight people can. They cannot express pride in their families. They do not have the freedom to be joyous about their lives. They are forced to lie every day or risk losing their job, benefits, and retirement. How sad is that?

What if I had to hide my husband and children from the military? How would that make me feel? Worse, how would that make my husband feel? Like a second-class citizen? What if we had to spend our lives worrying that a co-worker might see us together at the grocery store, and maybe we forget ourselves and accidentally touched a little too affectionately? How would it feel to live in fear? I cannot imagine how much it would hurt to know that I was unacceptable as a partner because of my gender.

Someone once told me that "everyone knows the policy. If they were gay they shouldn't have joined in the first place." Again I say bullshit. The average age of enlistment is around 18. How many of us knew ourselves very well at the age of 18? Most 18 year olds I know (and I have several working for me) cannot make up their minds on what kind of cars they want to drive, or what hair color they want. Are we to believe that life realizations and decisions of that caliber are to be made at such a young age? And how many people come out later in life, after trying to live straight for many years and being unhappy? Should the realization of their own sexuality preclude someone from continuing a career that they have sunk time and training, not to mention their hearts, into? Should that really be the line in the sand that separates the worthy from the unworthy? Should it change our attitudes towards them? Does it make a man less honorable or duty bound to find out he loves another man? Is a woman less of a great leader or supervisor because she goes home to a woman instead of a man? I hardly think so. I have been married for almost 18 years now, and I do not believe my sexuality is in question, but what if it was? Would it cancel out 14 years of serving with a spotless record? Would it mean that I am suddenly less of a mechanic or a bad supervisor if someone were to "out" me?

Would planes fall out of the sky because the person maintaining them was gay?

I serve with gay and lesbian people. I know it and I am good with it. I really don't care who my co-workers and troops sleep with or fall in love with as long as they show up everyday, work their asses off, and treat everyone with respect. I expect my Airman to be decent people and to respect each other. That is all. They receive the same training as I do, and I would trust them with my life. I trust them to do the job they were trained to do. I do not judge people by their sexual orientation any more than I would by the color of their skin. My Momma raised me better than that.