It's all the Clown's Fault

For this military family, Monday night means dinner at JR Rockers (aka the club on base). Monday night is family night at the club, so the kids eat free! Where else can a family of 5 eat out at a sports bar like restaurant for under $15 plus tip? And the food is pretty good. The only think that we ever have a complaint about is the atmosphere. Here's why:

Dizzy the Clown

This guy is one of those clowns you love to hate. He is a nice enough guy I guess for a clown, and he has a lot of patience, but its the dang balloons that kill me.

The parents that frequent the club on Monday nights clearly have the mistaken idea that this is a free day care center. What is it about the presence of a clown that makes parents abandon any and all sense of parental responsibility? There are generally about 15 kids running all over the restaurant brandishing balloon swords at each other, knocking over drinks, screaming, and acting like godless orphans. And usually, the parents of all 15 of these kids are sitting in a group of about 4 tables pushed together, running the poor waitress ragged, and remarking about how cute their little angels are, while their kids are purposefully popping balloons in the faces of other patrons and beating up the clown.

First off, whatever that clown is making, its not nearly enough. I cannot think of a big enough number to make me do his job.

Second, the poor waitresses! I happen to work with a few of the husbands of these women, and I know that the groups with the rowdy kids are the most frequent Monday customers, the most demanding, stay the longest, and are the WORST TIPPERS! These are the people who will run a bill of about 50 dollars a piece and leave a $1 tip. They will stay at their table for 2 hours or more and take up seats that could be filled with other customers that might actually tip the waitress well. Being a person who used to rely on tips, I know how frustrating this can be.

I believe chucking the clown would cure all of these problems! But that's just this sergeant's opinion, not that it matters.

I know what your thinking. Why do I continue to go almost every week if it is so frustrating? Simple answer: its a good deal, and I am always willing to support base facilities. Also, it means I don't have to cook or clean for a night. Minot AFB is in a pretty remote place, and we don't get into town much. Rockers is the best place on base to eat a good meal. Tonight the rowdy kids were almost civilized, and the waitress was a friend of mine. My children are in fear of the repercussions of any foolish behavior, so they almost always behave themselves while we are out, and we are very proud of them.

We have, of course, outlawed any visits to Dizzy. They have been taught to think that balloon animals are for babies and they are much too mature for that (modest pat on the back). We almost have them completely brainwashed!!!

Anyway, happy Monday all. The week is young, and its getting colder here. Here's to a speedy work week, and bring on the weekend!